Pity the poor ex-Californian. All lubed up with nowhere to tan. Sneaking a listen to the Niners score at the stock car races. Hazarding a glance at his crystals during the preacher’s sermon. Waiting endlessly for a celebrity sighting. Choking down instant coffee, and pouring out elderberry wine. Pity the poor ex-Californian, find them a gift at surprise.com.